So this is going to be a more personal most then I normal do, but I feel like it needs to be said. The past few months have been a complete whirlwind for me. I started the year looking for a home with my future husband fully prepared to start a family. As of two months ago I am single for the first time in 10 years starting over at 28 years old. I was hurt and confused. To be honest completely lost. I considered leaving my job and running back home to wallow in my misery. I was terrified to be alone. Terrified at the idea of putting new furniture together, losing a gym partner, not having anyone to practice my recipes on. Terrified to be alone on the holidays. Fortunately for me the pull of God is much greater and I woke up one Sunday knowing I needed to be in church. The message was so enlightening it truly changed the way I was looking at my life. I went from thinking I was being punished for something to realizing God was pushing me out of my comfort zone for something greater. I was granted the peace I needed to be able to move on with my life and now I have the incite to help comfort others. So now here I am a completely confident woman sitting in a restaurant, alone, and being completely at ease. For those of you that find yourselves in similar situations. Terrified to start over. I will share my secrets with you.
Step 1. Accept that your circumstances have nothing to do with you. You will not be able to change them so stop trying. The moment you release yourself from the guilt and the constant fear that you will be alone I promise you the weight will be lifted.
Step 2. Focus on you! This is such an important step. Do not let yourself drown in buckets of Belgian chocolate gelato. Exercise! Eat healthy! Take care of yourself! I started packing my lunches for work so I will not be tempted to buy fast food. Yogurts, hummus, fresh fruits. These are all easy things to keep on hand. I have always practiced yoga, but now I am taking it to new levels. Challenging myself even more. Setting goals. Maybe you have always wanted to try indoor rock climbing. Now is your time. Step out of your comfort zone. You will not regret it.
Step 3. Treat yourself. There are two things you absolutely need in your life. A date night perfume and the perfect dress. These two things are essential. You need a perfume that you have always wanted, that smells delicious on your skin and that makes you feel sexy. The dress. I searched high and low for my dress. A dress that is 100% for me. It makes me feel good about my body. I am the most confident when wearing this dress. It does not matter what anyone else thinks about this dress. If you feel sexy and confident then you will radiate this and others will be attracted to you just because you are comfortable with yourself.
Step 4. Always be ready for what life will throw at you. This might seem like common sense, but you would be surprised at how many women do not follow these practices. Shower and shave your legs every day. Keep a luxurious lotion on hand to put on before bed every night. Make sure you do regular manicures and pedicures. Obviously you do not need to go spend money to have these done. They are easily done at home. My best guy friend always tells me that easiest way to tell if a women takes care of herself is to check her pedicure. I will never forget those words.
Step 5. Be yourself! Now I am not saying tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets or announce the private conversations you have with your cats when you are alone. Think of how you act when you are alone with your best friend. Full of laughter and not trying to impress anyone. That is how you need to be. I am not ready to put myself out there and date anyone right now, but I get asked out on a daily basis. DAILY. I know it is because I am being myself 100%. I am approachable because I am not trying to pick up a date. I have so many friends that put on a show when they go out to meet men. Then they wonder why it does not last. These men have no idea who they are.
Step 6. This is by far the most important of all the steps. Get yourself together spiritually. Something as simple as just reading a few passages in the Bible will really make a difference. I suggest reading any writings from the apostle Paul. Find a women's group at church or join spiritual yoga. You need something to fill your heart with love.
Step 7. The final step. Get a hobby. Get ten hobbies! Do not just keep yourself busy. Find something you have always wanted to do. So here I am. Only two months later, Completely at peace. Loving my life. I have more friends then I deserve, I am more active at the gym and considering getting my yoga certification, I practice all my new recipes and have huge things happening at my job. I am telling you. These 7 simple steps will change your life. Trust me.
